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Submitted on
December 4, 2012
Submitted with Writer


130 (who?)
I suppose you call this time fall.
It’s always autumn to me. Your alien mind
likes to speak in a distorted tongue.
And when we see the spinning leaves
drifting down an eggshell sky
I catch oak, and your hands are empty.

There half the houses stand empty,
you say as you watch rain fall.
There the world is bigger than the sky,
with room for my restless mind.
I know you pine for maple leaves,
for bittersweet syrup on your tongue.

The words are waiting to leave your tongue.
This land is small and your heart is empty.
That’s why everyone ups and leaves.
This place is paradise after the fall,
There you can be naked. No one would mind,
no one would see you bare yourself to the sky.

Through the window is my perfect sky,
the places that come easy to my tongue,
If we left maybe no one would mind
but me, I say. But if your land is empty
who would catch me in your wondrous fall?
If your land is perfect, what fool leaves?

One day I will weave from leaves
a tapestry of your autumn sky.
We’ll go where poplar and maple leaves fall,
where every red and amber seems a tongue
of flame, and where the world is empty
and gives space to your fragile mind.

Perhaps after a time I would not mind
my future in a place where everyone leaves
but you and me, where the world stands empty
but for us. I’d give you my entire Eastern sky.
Words slip easily from your honeyed tongue
and I think, after all, that I may fall.

I cannot mind your perfect pale blue sky,
your autumn leaves, your ever altered tongue,
You make me fall. With you, I am not empty.

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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-12-14
Continental Drift by =Aconitum-Napellus A delightful and autumnal Sestina ( Featured by Beccalicious )
This is gorgeous! And to think I was struggling with sonnets...
It makes me want to undertake a sestina of my own. :)
Aconitum-Napellus Dec 16, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :-)

I was actually considering trying a sonnet next. I feel like it would be much harder because it's a set metre. I think the sestina can be a set metre, but I didn't make it so, whereas in a sonnet I think the metre is much more integral, and I find it hard to restrict my lines that much.
I know what you mean. I struggled with mine, and doesn't really keep to the official metre (it ended up being 8 syllables/verse, more or less), but the rhyme scheme and 14 verses are there. That being said, I know I'm going to struggle even more with the sestina because the words themselves are perhaps a bigger constraint than the metre can be.
LiliWrites Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful work! :)
Aconitum-Napellus Dec 15, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :-)
Anyone that completes a sestina and manages to do so with any sort of eloquence (as you have more than accomplished here) deserves a medal. And a DD. Congrats, and respect!

I have been trying one myself for the Two Poems contest, and it has been a struggle, to say the least.
Aconitum-Napellus Dec 15, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you! It was a bugger to write. I never expected to get a DD for it!!
magical-badger Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is so wonderful. I loved every single line. :heart:
Aconitum-Napellus Dec 15, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :D
magical-badger Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :snowflake:
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